jlf_redhood | (no subject)

(no subject)

One thing I miss about working with B: access to shit. This whole system I've got going - namely, the one where I don't have access to GCPD files unless I ask Oracle really nicely - is getting old. Like, really old. And old is never a good thing when your cases are time-sensitive. Like, oh, the possibility of kids being "exported" from the docks.

But I can't get the files I need, because I don't have B's connections. Not that he ever answers my calls, but... well, he's not answering my calls. My normal go-to in this situation is "blow shit up," but I don't want to hurt any bystanders, mostly because they're kids, and blowing them up isn't saving them.

This sucks.

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It wasn't me, hand to God. Look at the darling middle child. Have you even seen his Netflix queue? I don't know how he's got time for all that television.

You can't fool me with your tricksy words. You're the darling middle child too.

Yeah, but he's the middle-est. Big burd, me, little red, lil sis, and the murder kitten. See, he's right there in the middle.

And I'm nobody's darling.

That's not what I hear, darling ;-)

Yeah, well, that's... that's private. That's totally different, and you know what I mean.

Also, you forgot: Ms. H comes before you, so you're tied for middle-ness with Red Robin.

Did she get adopted while I wasn't looking?

This is why you should've showed up to Bat clan pizza night.

(Check your email. Not that one, the other one)

Oh. Holy shit.

And there are so many reasons I don't show up to Bat clan anything. So many reasons.

For future reference: if pizza is involved it means no A, which means no Brooding B.

Yeah, he's not the only one skipping pizza night lets me avoid. You know dearest most octopus-like older brother has actually tallied how many hugs he "owes" me? No thanks.

Aww he's not so bad once you get to know him. And once you train him like a cat, by spraying him with water every time he goes somewhere you don't want him to go: I probably shouldn't be saying this, but his secret weakness is...

...I'm all ears over here. Don't leave me hanging.

Check your email. I can't going spilling secrets to *everyone*

That is possibly the funniest thing I've heard in weeks, oh my god.

Train him like a cat. You won't regret it.

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